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Hey Hugo, Got Milk?

Mr. Chavez, we hear you have some milk shortages among other things down there in Venezuela, the land of milk and honey.  Hard to believe that the great leader Chavez would allow such a thing to happen. I suppose its Bush’s (El Diablo) fault.  Do you smell sulphur, Hugo?

 

Well not to worry. You can always drink that oil instead. Little oil with your coffee, Hugo baby?  Oreos are great with some #1 Venezuelan crude.  Hmmm, hmmm.  USA?  Yes, we have all kinds of milk. In fact, we bathe in it from time to time. Swimming in it, you might say.  

 

Don’t want to sell us any more oil, Hugo?  Well, your posse, OPEC, we’ve been talkin’ to those boys and seems like they just may make up the difference. Imagine that.  So we’ll have plenty of oil and milk.   You can keep your Venezuelan crude. Oh, by the way, we’re shutting down all your CITGO stations and will be turning them into dairy stores because we’ve got soooo much MILK to sell.

 

I guess that Castro model you have been working on down there hasn’t worked out so well for you.  But you know, now that Fidel is near the end, you might just want to hop the first freighter to Cuba because when those Venezuelan mothers can’t find milk for their babies, they may start getting a little testy and may come looking for your head.

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